i want to quit. this course is making me sick. wanna be in the film industry not in the medical. shucks. why do i need to do this. then again. i love my family and this seems a practical way to end some of our problems. but man, feels like everything's getting heavier. wish i'd study masscom or something about being a director or scripwriter instead of nursing. i wonder if i'd quit now if they'd understand. cant they see i'm suffering. damn mosquitos. anyway, i wanna be in the film industry. wanna write a story and film it or something like that. i'm 18 and cant even do what i dream for once. i'm going farther and farther from it.
and love eludes me too. cant figure out if this guy really is for me. i dont doubt him (or do I). i just cant be sure of myself. i guess i fear commitment what with all the querida stories that involves the men in my family. sheesh, wish i'd get over that soon coz i think i really like him.
what i'm thinking now is... do i want to be a nurse or not. ofcourse i dont but this thing is for my family. i think. we're pretty down low now and if i do succeed then its gonna mean a better life for us. no more begging, no more envying, no more wanting...
but... its really too much for me. nursing is not that hard but my heart's not in it. i guess that should be pretty obvious huh. but if i take the other road i'm not sure of what i'm gonna be.
