A poem from the poet

If I told you I didn't love you like you love me, would you cry...
If I told you I chose you because you love me most, would you be hurt...
Time and time again, I have felt your tears
The many wounds I have inflicted on your heart
will they one day disappear?
If I would learn to love another, will I finally understand your pain
I do not wish to love
I do not wish to cry
I do not ever want to feel like I will die
You love me
But
Should you always love me
Should you always be by my side
I've given nothing but grief
I've shared nothing but pain
My smile is all you see
But from my heart you have nothing to gain
I have a wound bigger than my hand
A wound that seems to slowly heal
But will it heal in time
Or will your love waver
in good time
As it heals, I willingly cling to your touch
I willingly dare to accept your kiss
I accept everything
but can I handle this
If one day, it all leaves me
The trust and dependence
I learned to slowly give
will have nowhere to go
and a dark abyss replace
all the feelings I have learned
Can I handle this
with just a memory of your last kiss?

my 14th lament: ranting

what's the big deal with love? why do i need to feel in love? why do i need to experience the pain that comes with it? i would rather be numb than to feel the helplessness that comes with not knowing what to do or what to say infront of that person. why can i just be contented with what i have going on now? love is a fickle, today you're happy, tomorrow you're sad. when it ends, so does your world.
can't you just love normally and be contented with that? i really hate it when my friends go swooning over their current love lives or being upset when it's not working out. the world is going to continue turning even if you fall out of love or when your partner looses his/her love for you. In the end it would just be you alone, so don't try so hard, you'll just be in pain in the end.
what kind of rant is this? its like a rant for a girl looking for love.... grrrr....