my 24th smile: message for my 23 or 25 year old self

I now have a plan for my 23rd or 25th year on Earth. Hehehe
I'm going on a trip somewhere in Asia. Probably Korea or Japan and stay at a temple. I'm excited at the thought. It's probably gonna be my last (???) soul searching before I get wed. Hehehe. I don't really know what happens during that age but we'll see when I get there. But I wanna do the soul searching in a temple. A quiet one. I'm thinking the cave temples of Korea. They've got a cool Temple Stay program that includes basic martial arts so I'm thinking of going there.
I wonder how mature I'll be when that time happens.

I don't even know if I'll get proposed to or something but even if I don't. I'm still thinking of going to a temple. Though something is bothering me. Buddhism is a religion and I wonder if being a Christian would be bothering to them. I was gonna say,"I came here to seek guidance for my soul". The thought was so cool. :p

I have no plans on telling anyone where I am though. Maybe someone will look for me (I hope so). Though, I'm sure my family will worry so I'll have to leave them a long letter. I also don't know what will happen in a year so... still contemplating on that. I was thinking of being gone for a year but I don't know how much that'll cost... I might go broke then I'd have to really live in the mountain. hahaha! Oh well, let's just see how things go.

I'm also thinking of putting up a business so that I can pay for my trip. Things will happen if the Lord permits. I hope I can go there sooner though.

my 23rd lament

I have this heavy feeling on my chest again. I feel annoyed at him and want to distance, detach myself from him. This talk about entering seminary feels a bit concrete and because I think my feelings are still unsure about it (even though I've lifted it to God...), the talk about it annoys me. That's why I feel like I want to uninvolve myself.