my 24th lament

Happy Birthday to me. Yet, the day wasn't that good. He came by early in the morning and greeted me. He also gave me a gift. Yet, later in the day, it wasn't so good.
I attended mass but my heart wasn't in it. I hanged out with friends but not the ones I wanted. I ate a lot of food but not cooked by the person I wanted them to be cooked (my mom). All in all... not one of my better birthdays.

I wanted to attend mass earlier but had to attend the later one wherein I totally wanted to get out of. I didn't want to regret going to mass. I wanted to give my heart to the Lord yet it was troubled.

I hanged out with the one I loved and with some friends... but those friends just talked about their fun pasts... pasts I was never in. I know they didn't mean it but I longed for the company of my bestfriends.

I expected my mom to cook something special at home but it was just one of those normal dinners. Even the ice cream was in the flavor I hated. And I had to travel a great distance to go to some unknown cemetary to visit someone I don't know. I feel like an outsider.

The day didn't feel special at all. It sucked. It made me feel bad. And here I am waiting for his reply, it gets worse as he doesn't. Though I'm sure he's just sleeping or something. I still feel bad.

I just feel so emotionally abused today.

my 26th smile: pondering on my view of life

The Window (author unknown maybe Ceres Visarra)

A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning, while they are eating breakfast, the young wife sees her neighbor hang the wash outside.

"That laundry is not very clean," she said to her husband. "The neighbor doesn't know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap."

Her husband looked on, but remained silent.

Every time her neighbor hung her wash to dry, the young woman would make the same comments.

About one month later, the young woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on her neighbor's line and said to her husband, "Look! She has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this?"

The husband said, "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows!"

Can you see how it might be a good idea to check first, to see if your windows are clean? What we see when watching others depends on the purity of the windows through which we look. Before we give any criticism, it might be a good idea to check our state of mind and ask ourselves if we are ready to see the good rather than just look for something wrong in the people we encounter.