I will do my best to achieve my dreams.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
my 18th lament: pain and pleasure? Or dignity and principles.
February 14, 2009
We almost did the real thing with my bf. Sure we make out and stuff but I already told him my boundaries. I almost did want it to happen but I know I will regret it in the future. I will feel self pity and angry at myself for not upholding my beliefs but in the midst of it all, I asked myself, what would have happened if we did it?
My trust in him has diminished but I still love him. At least he stopped himself when I asked him and we made peace in the end. I told him, I was angry at him and he knows my past. He should have known how trust was very important to me. I had asked him do we need space and he said no. I half heartedly agreed with him but when i thought about it more, I have a feeling we do need that space but I've always been like this, wanting space when things confuse me.
I don't want that space.
My trust in him has diminished but I still love him. At least he stopped himself when I asked him and we made peace in the end. I told him, I was angry at him and he knows my past. He should have known how trust was very important to me. I had asked him do we need space and he said no. I half heartedly agreed with him but when i thought about it more, I have a feeling we do need that space but I've always been like this, wanting space when things confuse me.
I don't want that space.
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