my 18th smile: chance

it all started with a game of chance
that turned into a game of love
what to make of it
I don't really know
But each day I spend with you
Somehow I think to go
and yet somehow all I want is to stay

a bittersweet promise

I remember when your every word
seemed to cut
when even a tiny action
makes me wanna cry
Now it's over
it's just like your dead
Though I never want it to be the same
the good times we had shared
I long for them
I'm not done
and I can feel it
It's not over
even if my heart and mind denies it
our paths will meet again

my 17th smile: love?

And so again I ask about love. What is love? Tsk... Andrew is like an answer to an untold prayer. Someone I unconsciously wished for yet could not believe truly exists. In truth I am scared that one day it ends again. I wonder why it's like that... But after all... this did not start with love. This started with a prayer (for his side). I... I did not think to pray at all.

My poems... they're beyond my grasp. I think I'm holding back something. God... there are so many questions in my head that I can't think of how to verbalize them but I know that in your time and in your grace, all that needs to be cleared will be cleared and all that needs to be answered will be answered. Use me for your glory Lord. I don't know if me and Andrew will last... and I don't know what tomorrow will bring but if it's you Lord, I know it will all be alright... Thank you and Amen.