my 16th smile: catching up

Yehey, my *smiles* are catching up with my *laments*. ^_^
Another reason to smile. hehehehe
I hope it catches up soon.

Hm... updates... well, everything seems to be fine these days so don't really have a reason to lament... maybe... there is a little thing but let's just keep that in my mind for now. It's a thought I don't want to approach. ^_^

my 15th smile: for Andrew

a gentle breeze
that's who you are
soft and gently blowing

You hold me close
yet I am free
feeling loved by knowing

my 14th smile: Ready for a fall by PJ Olsson

You sit there in my shadows
And you call it your relief
Don't be the one with bad eyes for
The things that I could see
(Don't give me that)

The darkness has no armor
Need protection from the air
High hopes through time passing
When I see I want you there

[Chorus]
I can't believe
You're the one for me
If it was this easy to find you
I should be ready for a fall
I should be ready for a fall

Now my wonders rally
Around the person I once was
Like a bird that I've been helping
Hope you're healed and strong
You never know when you might have to fly

[Pre-Chorus]
Where will you go after me
Where will you go after I set you free
And I don't know you from a page in my book
Though I should
Though I should

[Chorus]

Where will you go after me
Where will you go after I set you free
And I don't know you from a page in my book
Though I should

[Chorus Out]

my 13th smile

I am really avoiding to post laments here already coz I had a goal to be happy. To change my sad disposition. I noticed, sorrow has been my inspiration for my poems for the past few years that I had learned to write. I wish to write of happiness and not sadness. For now, I'm opening up my old wounds. Wounds that have piled up... I want them healed. In a way they have leaving "living" scars... but this time I want those scars dead. These things, I have created for myself, I can't heal them by myself... Maybe I've found God. Maybe I've stopped being lost. Maybe this is really my year after all... My year of change and growth. Hopefully I've gone out of it... That dark place. I refuse to go back... But if I faced my inner demons... would that help? or would I fall again... If I am sad... it makes me write... I want to write when I am happy... But the darker shades... they're more "writable". Writing about happiness makes me feel cheesy and corny... Tsk... got to find a comfortable zone. I wonder though.... and I pray... that my current boyfriend would be the one. But if he's the one... I think we would face many hardships...