my fourth lament

Gosh, it's been a while since i've written in this blog but what the heck, i'm writing in it again.
It's summer and we have summer classes, ahhh... when is my "vacation" coming. I've always secretly detested summer (not secret anymore isn't it ^_^). It's hot, it's boring, it makes me think of thoughts of conquering lands which arent even on my horizon of thought.
During summers (way back when i was a kid), i remember me and all my cousins would "re-unite" and play with and against each other. And even if we fight, there would always be that unspoken agreement that we were united. But now, everything's changed. And no one's to blame (ofcourse! ughh!). I would use to love those summers coz sometimes our aunts would take us to get aways like an amusement park, the beach, island hoppings, and we'd have so much fun. But those are memories now and I would sometimes think if they had ever happened. I feel like our family's falling apart. No one seems to trust what the other kin is saying or listen to it (between the lines). I wish I was forever a kid and I hadn't need to listen to adult gossip, envy and suspicions. I wish I was a kid again so I wouldn't rack my brains trying to find a solution or even a reason to this mess. I wish I was a kid so I would be back to that grease-faced, tough, stubborn and naughty little runt who'd climb trees and wish she was a long lost daughter of some other family and one day she would be reunited with them and none of this problems would face her again.
I use to love those summers coz its the time when i dont have to wish for a beach outing or a trip to our mountains (ours daw, char)
I really hated those summers also because i never did remember being anyones favorite..........
But those summers are gone and now i've grown up (i think). And i've realized that you cant change your past but you can do something about your future.