Wonder if I can really call this a smile when its a little sad. He's going to go into seminary next year and I want to tell him, "What about me? What about us?" but I know I need to let him go. This could be his calling and if so I'd only be a hindrance. And its not like he's going to be a priest or something. He's going to be a pastor I think or at least that's how I understand things. And he's gonna go far away... For real this time and I wonder if I can take it. I'm feeling ambivalent about things coz I want to be happy for him. If this is what's in his heart. I should be happy for him. But sometimes I can't help but want to feel selfish but I know it would also be useless. Unless God wills it, I cant stop him.
Anyway, the things I got from camp... learning, affirmations, probably callings? I think the Lord affirmed my feelings for him and yet, he brought on this.... topic. But I think whatever His plans are, I just need to be still and know that he is God. And as for plans... I think I want to be involved in the Children's ministry. I know I've always wanted to be involved in something related to youth. And I think I'd do good in the Children's ministry. Serving God through children...
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