Happy Birthday to me. Yet, the day wasn't that good. He came by early in the morning and greeted me. He also gave me a gift. Yet, later in the day, it wasn't so good.
I attended mass but my heart wasn't in it. I hanged out with friends but not the ones I wanted. I ate a lot of food but not cooked by the person I wanted them to be cooked (my mom). All in all... not one of my better birthdays.
I wanted to attend mass earlier but had to attend the later one wherein I totally wanted to get out of. I didn't want to regret going to mass. I wanted to give my heart to the Lord yet it was troubled.
I hanged out with the one I loved and with some friends... but those friends just talked about their fun pasts... pasts I was never in. I know they didn't mean it but I longed for the company of my bestfriends.
I expected my mom to cook something special at home but it was just one of those normal dinners. Even the ice cream was in the flavor I hated. And I had to travel a great distance to go to some unknown cemetary to visit someone I don't know. I feel like an outsider.
The day didn't feel special at all. It sucked. It made me feel bad. And here I am waiting for his reply, it gets worse as he doesn't. Though I'm sure he's just sleeping or something. I still feel bad.
I just feel so emotionally abused today.
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